My First Week on Facebook Posted on: 25/01/12 Category: Blog

Because so many editors want to run author pics, I had a few photos snapped by Hot Shots Photography in Canberra. At least that's something to put on my Facebook page...

After avoiding it for years, I have finally joined Facebook. Yes, I’ve dragged myself, kicking and screaming, into 2008. Joining Facebook was one of my New Year’s Resolutions, which might seem strange to you. As far as resolutions are concerned, it’s up there with resolving to smoke more cigarettes. I had always assumed that Facebook would be a colossal waste of time, so I stayed clear. Sure, I’m on Twitter, but how long does it take to write (and read) 140-character message? Facebook is more daunting.

I rarely make New Year’s Resolutions any more, maybe because my usual one (“Become rich and famous by the end of the year”) never worked. This year, however, I had two resolutions. The first one was to cut down my coffee intake to two cups a day. Or maybe three. Less than eight, at least. A friend suggested on New Year’s Eve that I cut down, reading a list of medical conditions that could be blamed on too much coffee. I can’t remember the full list, but I’m pretty sure it included Ebola, smallpox and limb amputation. So far this year, I’ve stayed under the limit, but she now informs me that the conversation turned her into a caffeine addict. These things I can’t explain.

As for Facebook, many people suggested to me that it was good for business. I was already on LinkedIn, but that’s a bit like a lunch break during a business conference. Facebook is like a party, though without the booze. (There should really be a social networking site for drunken louts, where they can all rave at each other and the rest of us wouldn’t have to hear them.)

I registered for Facebook some time ago, but left it alone. When I opened my dormant account, a week ago as I write this, I found that I already had five “friend” requests from the past several months. Most of them were people I knew. The other one was someone I’d never heard of, but I was touched that she wanted to be my friend, so I accepted her invitation. Though I joined Facebook for the networking, the word “friend” is emotive. If someone says “Can you be my friend?”, I wouldn’t have the heart to say no.

Soon I discovered that this lady had read my latest book, and enjoyed it so much that she wanted to “friend” me. (Since when was “friend” a verb. Whatever happened to “befriend”?) Happily, I’m not yet at the level of some big-shot writers, who feel they can be scathing to their readers. Indeed, I’m sure that I still don’t even have a tenth as many Facebook friends as the average 20-year-old. If any reader wants to be my friend, I’ll welcome them with open (online) arms.

Now that I had five ready-made friends, I looked up other people. Within minutes, several people accepted my requests, leading to the question: “Do I have a bunch of friends who spend their whole lives on Facebook?” The messages were wonderful: “You and Jim are now friends.” That was great news, as Jim and I have been on good terms since we were kids in 1988 and I was always hoping that we could make our friendship official through a website. Then I looked up another old acquaintance. “You and Nigel are not friends,” said the message. This was a crushing blow, as I didn’t realise we’d had a falling-out. Fortunately, we made up, no questions asked.

As my list of friends grew, comprised mainly of people who had been friends anyway, a few faces kept appearing. I didn’t know most of these people, but I was told that we had several mutual friends, so I asked to be friends. They all accepted. I also noticed a post on one group from someone I hadn’t seen for a while, so I offered my hand in friendship. She quickly accepted, and I noticed that she was someone I’d never seen, who merely shared her name with someone I used to know. Still, she wanted to be friends. Maybe we can go out for coffee some time.

Before long, my inbox was overflowing with dozens of messages. This was a worry, as I still had only 40 friends. Imagine how unwieldy it would be if I had 400. It soon became clear that most of these messages came from the same guy. Hopefully he’ll find a job soon.

After two days, I posted a query on a freelance journalists’ chat room, asking for ideas on how I could use Facebook for work. Thanks to my colleagues’ helpful advice, I now have 50 ways to make Facebook useful (as opposed to my list of 50 ways to waste time on Facebook, which I worked out all by myself, thank you very much).

I once read that the average person can sustain 250 friendships. The average Facebook member has 150 friends, but most of my Facebook friends seem to have a lot more. Conclusion: These people are so friendly that they’ll be friends with anyone.

That explains a lot.